Thankful For Life

Hi hi!

Today is Thanksgiving, and while my family dinner didn't feel much different from any other night I'm still so grateful to have gotten to see (almost) my whole family! I didn't get to see my mom today, but I should hopefully be able to see her sometime this coming week.

If someone were to ask me what I'm thankful for this year I would say "my health, my hair and everything in between". As much as life severely stresses me out sometimes, I do love where I am and what I've done so far. I'm thankful for each one of you that reads anything I've ever posted, even if this is the first one.

xoxo
-B.

Busy As A Bee!

Hey all!

So, I know I've been MIA again, but it's WAAAAAAY harder than I thought it would be to keep this going consistantly. I'm back in school again, which means lots of homework and class times as well as working part time. I barely even have time for myself!

Any who, I just wanted to do this quick write up to let you all know I am trying very hard to start up again and I've got plans for my next YouTube channel.

Currently, at school I am involved in a group project which is to get us out and helping our community. My group has chosen to partner with the Make-A-Wish Eastern Ontario, so we will be doing a bit of stuff to help them! If you'd like to know how you can help or what exactly we're doing you can message me/comment below, as well as check out our blog that we've started up about our journey with the foundation!

xoxo
-B.

Going Crazy.

Hello there.

This may be a bit of a rant, so I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry for it. I feel like I'm going insane and I just want to let a bit of this out. Keep in mind, there is a bit more to all of this than just what's here, but it's a start. I felt better for a bit, basically just a day, then it all came rushing back and resulted in another panic attack type event. It's very possible that I could just be over reacting, but the way that I'm feeling is very real and I'm not going to ignore that fact.

I come from a family that has a small background of some alcohol abuse. I'm not totally against alcohol, but personally, I've never been a huge drinker. I prefer just having a casual drink or occasionally getting slightly tipsy. Getting piss ass drunk is not my style. Lately, it seems that I can't be invited places unless it involves alcohol which brings along the feelings of  'am I not fun enough?' and 'can people just not stand to be sober around me?'.

There's got to be more to life than going out for the sole purpose of getting drunk right ? It's not just me ? It's not too much to ask to be taken out on a night that doesn't involve alcohol, is it ?

My mind has been racing with these questions for about a week and a half to two weeks now. I've honestly lost track.

Ideas are bouncing around in my mind, such as maybe I should just accept this and move on or maybe I should actually take a stand for once and refuse to go out anywhere that involves alcohol for the next while.

A final decision definitely won't be made until I've gotten a bit calmer and have talked to some people first, but one thing that's for sure is that I'm sick of being taken out only when it involves alcohol. I'm raising my standards because I know I deserve more.

xoxo - D.

                                      p.s.

                                        it's never a bad thing to want what you deserve

Too Many Emotions.

Hello there.

Forgive me if this entry is a  little messy and disorganized, but I'm trying something new. I have had basically around 3 anxiety/panic attacks within the last week or so, and this idea is really the only one that has calmed me to the point of normalcy.

My idea is this; to write. I've kept my emotions bottled up for so long, and I'm not a very talkative person nor do I ever really have time to sit down and write in a journal and when I do, my hand cramps up pretty quickly. This will be my journal, or at least an extension of it.

My mind is blank already. This morning I couldn't stop the things I wanted to say, I had so many ideas. Unfortunately, I was at work so, my hands are now spotted and striped with black ink, my stomach screaming with hunger and my mind blank.

I'll start off by saying this at least, if I have learned anything from trying to start up this blog and my vlog channel in the past year, it's that sometimes when you've been knocked down you have to truly give up and give in to your emotions and failures before you can get back up again. Lorelai Gilmore has even said it's okay to sulk.

I recently found out my boyfriend (who is also one of my best friends) has been offered a job in either China or Australia, his pick. Yes, I knew he was interested in doing stuff like this but no, I did not know that he had actually applied. Of course my natural reaction was to act calm over messenger, but panic in reality.

He will be leaving within a year, shortly after we graduate from college, and will be gone for about 6 months to a year. As great as an opportunity this is for him and I know he needs to go, part of me is selfishly hoping that within the next year before he leaves plans will change.

As a backup and as a more realistic plan, I've come up with my own adventure that I will (hopefully) take while he is gone. I plan on traveling up to Toronto to try and do what I've always loved and wanted to do, the arts. I've been obsessed with acting, dancing and singing since before I was in kindergarten. I've always wanted to pursue it but have always come across challenges, one being that I've always been too shy to actually admit it to anyone. Other challenges have included age, location, travel and time.

One saying that I've always held close to my heart is that everything happens for a reason. Maybe him leaving to follow one of his dreams is exactly what I need to follow one of mine.

xoxo - D.

                                p.s.
                                  I'm going to go for a run now, to see how far away from
                                  my emotions I can get. Wish me luck !

I'M BACK !

Hello my sweet things,

So, I know I've been M.I.A. for quite a while but I'm back and determined to at least try harder to keep this blog going. There weren't many of you [that I know of], so this is basically like starting from scratch but, still having all the old embarrassing posts from almost 6 months ago.

I'm currently in school and still working, which is the reason why I suddenly disappeared. I'm not making any promises that my posts will be very consistent, but I am going to do my best - swearsies ! My posts also won't be everything I originally wanted to do back when I first started this, but that's life !

This is short and sweet - I'm just about to head out to work, but I will be back soon [ I hope
!].

stay lovely / / sweet dreams

xoxo - Bella

LIFE HACK : Putting Mayo On Furniture !

I KNOW THIS SOUNDS RIDICULOUS, BEAR WITH ME PLEASE. My grandma introduced this life hack to me a few years ago when I first moved in with them. I was given all of my great-grandparents old bedroom furniture, and one day I accidentally got water on it which resulted in a white splotch being left behind.

Freaking out I called my grandma in and pretended I had just found it and hadn't actually caused it [ naughty, I know ]. I freaked out even more when she left and came back into my room with a knife and a jar of mayo.

Turns out, the mayonnaise absorbs moisture [ WHO KNEW ?! ], or something like that. I don't quite know the full details, only that it works. Trust me !

So, if you ever have a water stain on any wood furniture, gently rub some mayonnaise on it and leave it for at least 4 hours, preferably overnight if you can.

After a while you'll be able to see the difference in the water stain. as the mayo will become more translucent.

In the morning gently rub the excess mayo off with a piece of paper towel and you're done !

This life hack has saved me more times than I would like to admit, but I am SO GLAD I learned it.

xoxo - Gouu

Let's build a farm ! <3

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BFF Canvas Craft !

I love friendship jewelry, but the problem comes in the fact that sometimes people have a large group of friends. I recently had a birthday party together with one of my friends [ both of our birthdays are  in August ], and I thought it would be really cute for us to all do a craft together and then each take a piece of it home. Thus the BFF CANVASES WERE BORN !

All you need is ;

• canvases [ one per person ]
• craft paint [ one per person. each a different colour ]
• old tarp / blanket [ and something to hold the edges down ]
• old clothes [ optional / in case of messes ]
• spray sealant [ tbh, this was kind of an after thought for me, I didn't think of it until a day or 2 after we finished ]
• all of your closest friends

You'll need a lot of time for these to dry so get all of your friends together at a place where you can hang out after. I'd suggest a beach or a park or even one of your houses followed by a sleepover for maximum drying and bonding time !

Place all the blank canvases down on the tarp in a clump, everyone can choose the canvas they want either before or after the paint the applied. Have everyone stand in a circle around the canvases and give everyone a bottle of paint, when you guys are ready just squeeze the bottles and let it all go ! Make sure everyone gets doesn't just focus on the ones in front of them, depending on how many people you have in your group, it may be an idea to have people move around while squirting their paint.

This is one of the funnest things my friends and I have done ! When we finished we all sat around eating chips and ice, using some leftover paint to paint little patterns on each other [ I got some in my hair ! #worthit ].

WHAT IS SOMETHING YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS LIKE TO DO TOGETHER ? Comment below !

xoxo - Gouu

Let's build a farm ! <3

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